Get Back to Where You Once Belonged

Which is nearer,
name or self?
Which is dearer,
self or wealth?
Which gives more pain,
loss or gain?

All you grasp will be thrown away.
All you hoard will be utterly lost.

Lao Zi, Dao De Jing, Chapter 44 (trans: Ursula LeGuin)

Today, I sat in the Chiang Kai Shek library at Zhengda as I do most every afternoon, studying Chinese. On the third floor of the library, there is large room with rows of tables, and after lunch, they fill up. A sign on the wall, in Chinese, says "Solemn and Respectful," which can also be translated as "Do Not Make ANY Noise, Okay?" Across from me, a twenty year-old girl is looking at a report she has put together. It is in English and it looks like it is business-related.

Another generation of young Taiwanese, getting ready to enter the workplace. I imagine this room full of kids, and how in five or ten years, they'll be exactly like all my Taiwanese students last year, when I worked as an English teacher. Many will still be living with their parents. Their lives will be focused on saving money and getting promotions. They will be afraid to speak English.

Such a rush, about nothing at all,
uch a fuss, about nothing at all.
Such rush, such a rush.

***

I get together with a friend for dinner. She tells me how she got married in her twenties and discovered that she wasn't happy. She goes to India and when she comes back, her husband wants a divorce. She is in her late 30's now and she is deeply involved in spirituality. She is quite an anomaly as far as Taiwanese people go.

She tells me how in Taiwan, daughters are treated as second class. That women don't have the rights that men do.

I look over to the table next to us. A forty-year old dad is sitting with his eleven year-old daughter, going over her homework. The daughter is engaged and laughs. The dad is involved, actively coaching her, making sure she understands. This is a very common scene in Taiwan, parents with kids in cafes, making sure their kids do their homework. I tell my friend how I think this is wonderful. You never see this kind of thing in the States.

"I view it totally different," she replies.

***

A few days ago, after a day of studying, and then aikido practice, I end up on Zhinan Rd. looking for food. I go to a Taiwanese soup stand, where you can pick your ingredients, and they cook it up for you. It's about 9:30 and I sit down across the street from the vendor and eat my noodles and vegetables. A student walks by and looks at me. He stops and starts talking to me. I understand that he wants to practice his English, and so I invite him to have a seat. I tell him my story and he tells me his. He tells me that he could never do what I did, change careers to do something he loves. "My parents control every aspect of my life," he says.

He tells me journalism is not really respected in Taiwan and that somehow, he's going to try to get into advertising after he graduates. Both of his parents work in advertising.

***

There's a book sale in the library. Many of the books are in English. A student picks up a book about macroeconomics. "經濟," I say, "很大的." "Economy. Very big." "Oh," he responds, "and turns to his friend and says (hopefully) the characters for macroeconomics in Chinese. I smile at him and say, "My bad Chinese and your bad English. Together, we understand!" It's another gem of a Taiwanese moment.

***

I am sitting in front of the library today, talking to my new friend Ileen with two e's in a row. She walks around campus with a camera. She is Taiwanese but was raised in South Africa. She is a journalism major. My friend Vivienne from Burkino Faso walks by and the three of us talk in French about African politics. The situation in South Africa, apparently isn't great right now.

I remark how all three of us are from Africa! Well, half of my family is from Morocco. Vivienne grants me honorary African citizenship. I thank her profusely.