Lian Wu Guarantee

This morning on my way to class, I stop at the local supermarket to pick up some fruit. Something tells me I need a little fruit with my scrambled egg sandwich today.

I walk into the supermarket. It is called "Your's Mart". All the foreign students at my university know about "Your's Mart". If you want to buy peanut butter, you have to go to "Your's Mart".

I think they named it "Your's Mart" on purpose, because they want to compliment people in an indirect way. So Taiwanese, always complimenting everyone. So, the message is "Hey, You're Smart!"

Thanks.

I walk to the fruit section and pick up a package of lian wu (in English, "wax apple", but if you don't live in Taiwan, that probably doesn't help).

As I walk to the register to check out, I notice the package's plastic wrap has a sticker that says : 不甜包換 (If they're not sweet, you can return them). The lady rings me up and as she does, I ask her, "If these lian wu aren't sweet, can I return them?"

She looks at me in a very serious Taiwanese face that says, "Oh sheesh, you must be kidding me, Mr. Adoga (that's Taiwanese for foreigner)!" She then notices that I am looking at the sticker on the package and looks up at me and cracks a smile.

Oh my god, this is the second time in two weeks that a Taiwanese employee at a store realizes that I am making a joke. I almost fall over in disbelief.

"Well, everyone has a different opinion of what's sweet, so we can't just let everyone exchange their fruit after they buy them. So, actually, you can't return them," she informs me.

I pay her, get my change, and start walking out. There are no other customers, and maybe she needs to clean the windows or something, so she follows me to the door.

"Oh, I got it," I respond. Everyone has a different opinion. Someone might bring in the fruit and say 'Hey lady, these aren't sweet' and then you might check to make sure they actually aren't sweet, but then maybe, in your opinion, they are pretty sweet. "

I can see in her face that she appreciates that I get it. "That's right," she says, as I smile and wave goodbye.

Welcome to Taiwan.