I am negotiating my contract for my new apartment and I bring along an Israeli friend. During the negotiation process, I get a lower monthly rent, and some other bonuses. I speak Chinese to my new landlord, who is a lovely middle-aged Shanghainese woman. I want her to know that I am a down-to-earth person, not another faceless, incomprehensible waiguoren. And so throughout the process, I try to keep it friendly and light, and when she says something kind or offers something to me in the negotiation process, I thank her profusely. It's a habit I picked up from people in Taiwan, and it's pretty aligned with my own nature.
It goes like this in Chinese: "謝,謝,謝,謝,謝謝謝謝..." You say "thanks" very quickly about eight times in a row, so it sounds like this: "shyeh, shyeh, shyeh, shyeh, shyeh, shyeh, shyeh, shyeh..."
My Israeli friend, who's lived in a Shanghai for several years pulls me aside after and says, "Look, you've got to stop the profuse 'thank you's'! One is enough!" Shanghai is indeed a city of deals, and I think I might have to unlearn a few "bad" habits.
Or maybe not. "謝,謝,謝,謝,謝謝謝謝..."
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Taiwan and China.
In both places they speak Chinese, but the habits and meaning that go along with it are like two distant branches of the same family.
They are two very different worlds. Flowers that spring from a common root, but the bloom would hardly betray that common connection.
Yes, it is more gritty in China, fewer thank you's, change at the market tossed at you, not handed to you, spit and horns and the lure of money after a famine of failed communism.
Taiwan teaches welcome and generousity, China teaches you to be on your toes at all times. It helps one to cultivate a sense of reserve.
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