Fun Things Lao Wai Can Do When They Know a Little Chinese

I'm teaching a class at a large well-known international consulting firm. My students are all auditors in their 20s, representing the cream of the crop of the Chinese educational system. They all work ridiculous hours, travel all over Chinese for work, and now, their boss says they need to come in weekends to learn English in an intensive class (i.e., all day Saturday and Sunday) . As with most Chinese people, even highly educated ones, their spoken English is poor. However, they are sincere and like to laugh, too, and I thoroughly enjoy teaching them.

I arrive this Sunday to teach the afternoon session, and notice a joker has joined my class. Everyone, including him, obviously, is tired of taking classes all weekend. They haven't had much time to rest after their last week of deadlines, presentations, and general capitalistic competition. And Monday morning, when it starts all over again, is right around the corner.

Our class joker is slightly spoiling the spirit of the group. They are supportive of each other and sincerely interested in learning. Joker, a primadonna, prissy boy in his early 20s slouches, eats cupcakes obnoxiously in the middle of class, answers for others whose English level is not quite at his extremely advanced level (or, he wishes), and of course, answers questions with silly, prissy answers.

I ignore him and just do my best to engage the class, have fun, challenge them--help them learn better English. There is a small but persistent voice in my head that keeps rehearsing how I am going to throw him out of class, which goes something like this: "Okay, joker boy, we are all trying to learn here. You're outta here! See ya later!"

But, I realize that he's probably just tired from his consulting firm life (or perhaps he had a fight with his boyfriend?) and I understand what it feels like to be at a company training on a Sunday afternoon that you really don't want to be at. Besides, his coworkers, who are also his friends, would feel quite uncomfortable by this public scolding.

My inner Buddha, thankfully, takes precedence over my inner American cowboy. This made me look like a woos sometimes in the States ("Come on, yer going to let him just cut you off like that without giving him the finger?"), but it saves me today.

While I was hoping that my teaching style and my ignoring him would bring him into the spirit of the group, by the end of class, Joker has partipated honestly for a full two minutes, and unfortunately, just never quite joined us. I am not upset, really, just think it is too bad these young auditors are put through this grind.

I dismiss class and everyone is no doubt relieved and happy to have some downtime, finally. They all start talking in Chinese. I never tell my students that I speak some Chinese, because I don't want them to try to revert to Chinese while we're studying English, so no one knows.

Joker picks up his stuff, starting to leave, and says to his friends in Chinese: "Damn, this teacher is exhausting, always at a hundred percent, continuously correcting our mistakes!"

I turn to him as he is approaching the door, "Sorry!" I say in Chinese. The whole class cracks up!

"But, I thought you didn't speak any Chinese! Oh, I mean you are a very good teacher," he says, embarrassed.

I need a bit of a rest tonight as well, and I ride my bike home, smiling a Buddha smile.