Chinese Police

At the start of the semester at Beijing Language University, the head of the local police station station comes to our orientation and speaks to us for an hour and a half. Actually, the whole orientation is just him talking.

He is an animated kind of guy in his fifties. He tells us what you would expect--try to be on good behavior, don't drink too much, don't ride gas-powered motorcycles with large motors, don't overstay your visa, don't visit brothels--common sense kind of stuff. He is very down-to-earth and his stories of former students getting drunk and doing stupid things are funny.

You can't help but like him.

At one point during his talk he mentions that although he'd like students to drink responsibly, he enjoys drinking. After the talk, I am outside unlocking my bike and see him pass by, lighting up a cigarette (as most middle-aged men in China do). I almost introduce myself to him and tell him I'd like to have a beer with him, but I let him go on his way, surrounded by a group of what look like fans.

Fast forward about four months later. I come home from Christmas Eve out with friends and before going to bed, I get a text message. In Chinese it says: "You want a girl?" I have no idea who would send me this kind of message. I get several more and I finally send back a message asking them who they are. They tell me that they are a "massage center".

I am a little dumbfounded and I still have absolutely no idea how they could even get my cellphone number. Now I am curious. I call them up. A guy answers the phone. It's quite loud in the background. I ask the guy where he got my name from. Surprisingly, he is not shy about telling me the answer. He tells me very matter-of-factly, "from the police station."

Only after I talk to him do I remember the police chief's orientation speech. He tells us not to "visit brothels" but at the same time, someone in his office is selling the names of foreigners to "massage centers".

I send the guy back a text message telling him to stop with his promotional text messages and I can only laugh and shake my head.

Welcome to China, folks.