Brave ABC Girls in Taipei 101

I am eating lunch in the food court of Taipei 101 when I spot a gaggle of pretty young Taiwanese girls who walk up to a table where two young Taiwanese boys are eating their beef and noodles. They are about ten feet away from me. To my surprise, the lead girl opens her mouth and says, in girly, teenage English, "Excuse me, could you tell me...?"

I can't hear the rest, but since she is pointing to his lunch, I think she is looking for a food recommendation. She is about 19, looks like a college freshman, and smirking a little bit as she asks him her questions. The girls behind her look like they are anxiously waiting the boys' response, as if they are world-class professors. I hear the lead girl say that they are all from San Francisco.

I feel for her, because your chances of being answered in coherent English by a pair of pimply, basketball-playing, videogame-loving Taiwanese guys in Taipei 101 is about 0.06% (+/- 0.003, p=0.05). Those are pretty slim chances, girly.

Soon, her hot friends get involved. Their Chinese is better than their brave leader. I can see the interest in their eyes, and how they linger, asking what must certainly be further pointed questions.

And as they talk, well, I get it. (You see, I'm slow but perceptive.) They're not asking for food recommendations at all, or directions on how to get to Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Hall either. No, I imagine these young ABCs on summer break are bored, wandering Taipei 101 fru-fru shops, trying on new shades of makeup, buying hot pants for tonight's mission to Luxy. It's either here or at home with their auntie in Neihu who's always yelling at their cousins in Taiwanese because they haven't finished their buxiban homework.

Soon after arriving at the food court, I imagine one of them probably said, "Hey, check out those guys over there, the ones eating the beef noodles. You see the one on the left? Damn, is he hot! Let's go over and talk to them. Marsha, can you do your 'my Chinese is bad, so I will ask you a question in English' routine'?

I must be becoming Taiwanese, because after I figure out what is going on, I am cringing a little bit, as are both of their targets, and the group of five or so Taiwanese girls (real Taiwanese girls) sitting at the next table.

In the US, it's not uncommon to see girls, especially in groups, hitting on guys. And of course, it's quite common to see guys hitting on girls. But, we're in Taiwan. Nobody hits on anybody, at least the last time I checked.

Actually, I love that these girls are bringing a breath of fresh American culture into the B1 level of Taipei 101. Although they look Taiwanese, these are American girls, with an education and a set of cultural assumptions that are completely different from their Taiwanese counterparts.

Finally, their questions answered satisfactorily (or most probably, very unsatisfactorily!), the girls walk away, ready for their next adventure. The boys, for their part, request no phone numbers, and smirk like 18 year-old boys do, relieved.